Blaming others keeps you angry!
We need to understand the relationship between anger and blame. What that person did to us, we are not responsible for; that was their sin and wrong doing, not our problem. How we respond to what they did to us, is our responsibility. This is how a person can be wronged, abused, damaged and wounded, then wind up with spirits inflicting them with torment and infirmities (see Matthew 18:21-35). It wasn’t what they did to you, it’s how you responded to the wrong they did which opened you up to the tormenters. We need to own or take responsibility for our negative emotions and anger. As long as we’re blaming somebody, we’re not going to experience freedom and victory over the anger (or other negative emotions) that we’re trying so hard to get rid of.
If you’ve purposed it in your heart to forgive and you’ve taken responsibility for your reaction to their wrong, but you’re still feel anger rise up within your heart, then there are two other possibilities that should be looked into. First, there could be a wounded area of the heart that needs to receive emotional healing ministry, and secondly, there could be spirits of anger, hate, resentment, etc., which need to be cast out.
Of course, the more you understand about how much God loves you, and paid the price for your total forgiveness, the easier it will be for you to forgive others. You can’t freely give what you haven’t freely received. You can’t love others until you have first received the love that God has for you. One of the fundamental things that we all MUST have, is a rooting and grounded in the deep love that God has for us, or we’ll never receive all the fullness that God has for us:
“That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17-19 KJV)
You know something else that has helped me forgive others, is picturing them burning in hell and crying out with absolute and total regret and anguish, being tormented forever and ever. Is that REALLY what I want for that person? If your good hearted, you wouldn’t wish that upon your worse enemy. We should be praying for them because if they don’t turn to Jesus, that’s exactly where they are going when they die. They will pay for what they did to you forever and ever, with no relief. It will be far worse torment than you and I could ever experience while here on earth. Is that what you really want for them?
God loves you so very much that He sent His son to pay the total price for everything you have ever done wrong. He asks us one thing in return, that we would pass that love along to others. We need to be rooted and grounded in His love before we can freely and effortlessly give it to others. Until we get rooted and grounded in His love, it will take effort for us to love others. That is why it is absolutely crucial for us to learn about how God feels about us, how much He loves us, etc. One of my favorite books is Blessed Beyond Measure by Gloria Copeland, which is a great place to start in becoming established in His great love for us.
Blessings in Christ,