God’s authority in the family
Establishing God’s authority in our homes
In today’s society, there is so much misunderstanding of the authority that God has ordained for the home. Many Christian couples are experiencing strained marriages, many of which, are ending in divorce. Why? Could it be that they are not following the God-ordained authority which is meant to be honored and respected by husbands, wives and children? God’s Word is very clear on the flow of authority that should be in every Christian home:
God is our first and foremost authority that must be respected. Second is the husband or father in the home, for he was given authority over his home along with the responsibility for their well-being. Third is the mother’s authority over her children. It is right in the Lord’s eyes that husbands are in submission to God’s authority, wives are in submission to their husband’s authority and children to their parents. This is the way God has ordained for us in the Bible.
The first key to restoring any marriage is to be in submission to God’s authority
What you do, whether good or bad, you are responsible for; what your spouse does, they are responsible for. Don’t let God find that you are not doing what is right in His eyes and not fulfilling your own marriage agreement to love your mate and do unto them as you would want them to do unto you. When you do what is right in the eyes of the Lord, it opens the door for God to move on your behalf and begin working in your spouses life. When you are in the wrong yourself, how can you expect God to move on your behalf to help make things better? The first step to restoring any marriage, is to make sure you’re doing what God requires of you.
We are to be obedient to those whom God has placed over us
God’s Word has made it clear that we are to be in submission to those in authority over us:
Hebrews 13:17, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.”
Rebellion is a serious sin in the eyes of God, and in the Old Testament, those who were rebellious were put to death (see Joshua 1:18). We are even told that rebellion is a sin which is so great that it falls into the category of witchcraft!
1 Samual 15:23, “For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.”
It is important in the eyes of God for children respect and honor their parents, even if they do not agree with them. Paul tells us this clearly in the following passage:
Ephesians 6:1-4, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
Colossians 3:20, “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”
It is also the responsibility of parents to bring their children up in the ways of the Lord and in an atmosphere of love where they are nurtured and corrected in Christlike love.
The Bible puts rebellious children in the same category as those who commit horrible acts of unrighteousness. Look at this passage in your Bible:
Romans 1:29-32, “Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.”
The wife is under her husband’s authority
Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
One flesh means they are operating as one; when two flesh are involved, that’s when there’s strife and battles. When there’s one flesh, one partner is in authority and the other is submissive. One flesh does not have two heads, but one head. With Christ, He is the head and we are the body; we are in complete submission to His leadership. When He tells us what needs to be done, we do it. That is how it should work in marriages as well. Just as a wife should not resist her husband’s authority, so also we should not resist Christ’s authority.
Colossians 3:18, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.”
When a wife gives herself to her husband in a God-ordained marriage covenant, she is giving her obedience to her husband. She puts herself into submission unto her husband’s God-given authority. God made it very clear that the husband is the head of his wife and that he shall have authority over her…
Genesis 3:16, “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”
Ephesians 5:22-24, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”
1 Peter 3:1, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.”
Ephesians 5:33, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
It was honorable for a wife to be in subjection to her husband, as we can see in this passage:
1 Peter 3:5, “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands.”
What if the husband wants the wife to commit sin?
Let’s say, for example, a husband asks his wife to do something ungodly. What should the wife do? Should she be obedient and go along with sin? Absolutely not!
Example of where obedience is required: The husband tries to get the household on a schedule so they can be more productive and live healthier lives, so he asks that everybody in the home goes to bed at 10:00 and wakes up at 8:00 each morning. This does not cause anybody in the home to sin, but is rather looking out for their own good. In such cases, the wife should be obedient to her husband just as children are to be obedient to their parents, which God has placed in authority over them.
Example of where obedience is not required: The husband tells the wife to do something that causes her to sin or be involved in something ungodly which defiles her conscience. For example, if the husband tells his wife to take a job as a stripper so they can earn more money or go get drunk with him, or perhaps he tells her to have an abortion. In such cases, she is responsible to be obedient to God over her husband. Whenever God tells her not to do something, then I believe that takes priority over her husband’s orders.
The wife is responsible to be obedient to God first, husband second.
Where there is authority, there is also responsibility
Hebrews 13:17, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.”
Where there is authority, there is also responsibility. Husbands are responsible for the wellbeing of their wives, and should see to it that they do whatever they can to the best interest of their wives. God’s Word tells us to love and give honor onto our wives and treat them as Christ treats His body, which is the church.
Ephesians 5:25,28-29, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it… So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.“
1 Peter 3:7, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
Husbands, if you are not giving honor and love unto your wives, then your prayers can be hindered! This is very important to understand. If we are not doing our part in loving our wives as God has instructed of us, it can serve as a wall between us and God, and our prayers can be hindered as a result. In Ephesians, we are told to love our wives as we would ourselves:
Ephesians 5:33, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
The Jezebel marriage – Satan’s rebellion to God’s authority
I am convinced that the Jezebel spirit is one of the leading demons over the United States right now. There is a lot to know about this demon, and it is very popular in the lives of many today. One of Jezebel’s primary functions is to overthrow the God-ordained system of authority. It is Jezebel who diligently promotes the idea of husbands and wives being equal in authority over their homes. It is Jezebel who rises the woman up to the same authority as the man, and causes division and un-submissiveness to the authority that God has placed over her. It is spirits of Jezebel and rebellion which tells children that they don’t have to obey their parents or be in submission to their authority.
The spirit of Jezebel is known to be an usurper of authority. This defies the ordinances of God and sets us up for disaster. It is no wonder that there is so much strife and turmoil in today’s marriages and families!
Jezebel hates correction, and does not want to see our children disciplined in a Godly manner. A mother who has a spirit of Jezebel will rarely be found disciplining her child by spanking them when they are wrong. It is the Jezebel spirit who is trying to put parents in jail for Godly discipline of their children such as much-needed and non-abusive spankings. Now don’t get me wrong, there are valid cases of abuse which are not to be tolerated, but the Bible is clear that spanking your child is for their own good and should not be avoided because of your great love for that child:
Proverbs 13:24, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him quickly.”
Proverbs 23:13-14, “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.”
God also chastises those whom He loves, and we are to do the same for our own children!
Hebrews 12:5-11, “And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”
Some closing thoughts
I am not for child or spousal abuse whatsoever; I strongly oppose those who promote or practice such things. It angers me to see woman in Iraq being treated like scum while their husbands are out killing American’s so they can have 72 virgins in heaven when they die. However, God has given us clear guidelines in scripture that must be followed if we want His best in our marriages and families. We cannot live contrary to the ordinances that God has given us (for our own good), and yet expect Him to act on our behalf when Satan attacks our homes and families.